AUTHOR KAREN FRAZIER
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Get Your Happy On! A Simple Technique to Return You to Your Happy  Place

10/7/2018

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Do you have a happy place? Maybe it's somewhere you visualize going that makes you happy. Maybe it's a feeling you distinctly recall. Maybe it's the sound of a certain song or the way you feel after meditation. Think about when you feel your most peaceful, balanced, and joyful. Or just when you feel at your most positive. What if you could capture that any time you wish?

Great news; you can. There's a simple technique in neuro-linguistic programming (NLP) called anchoring, and you can use it to recapture a positive feeling whenever you'd like. But to do that, first you have to get the positive feeling in the first place.

Many people can think themselves there. Think of someone you love dearly; a friend, a family member, a partner, a child, or even a pet. Think about them and start to feel them deeply. Allow the glow of that good feeling to spread throughout you. Alternatively, think of your happy place, a beautiful memory, or your happy song. Use whatever you can to get yourself to that place. For me, any of the previous techniques work, or I can also do this after I've meditated or engaged in any physical activity that gets my endorphins flowing.

Once you have that positive feeling, come up with a unique gesture while you still inhabit the sensation. Make it a unique (to you) gesture; not one you perform daily. It could be tugging on your right ear with your thumb and forefinger, or making an "OK" sign with your left hand, for instance. Make it a specific gesture. And, while you are still in the feeling, make the gesture several times. As you repeat the gesture, do it exactly the same way each time. Do this until the intensity of the positive feeling begins to subside, and then stop. Alternatively, make the gesture and continue to hold it in position until the intensity of the feelings begin to lessen.

Now, any time you wish to return to that place of positive feeling, repeat the gesture exactly as you did it. That's it. It's effective and easy to do.

For energy healing practitioners, this is a great technique to teach your healing partners. At the end of their session when they're in that relaxed and positive state, teach them the technique and tell them they can return to that feeling anytime they wish by repeating the gesture. Allow them to choose a gesture that is specific and meaningful to them.

One word of caution to practitioners: Sometimes a session stirs up old, stuck negative energy, and your healing partner may be processing old negative emotions at the end of and after a session. When I observe this happening, I try to continue with additional energy until it passes or initiate a visualization to help them feel safe and peaceful, but sometimes it may take a few days for all of the emotions to process. If you observe this is the case at the close of a session, don't teach anchoring because that is not a feeling your healing partner wants to return to. Instead, wait until a laster session when your healing partner is in a positive and relaxed state.

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Laughter Is Good for the Soul

8/15/2018

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PictureMe, laughing in the drama club photo and looking like I might be wearing a sweater tied around my neck. Don't blame me for that - it was the 80s.
The drama club photo in my high school yearbook from my sophomore year horrified me. In the photo, everyone is smiling nicely at the camera - except the girl sitting front and center. Her eyes are sparkling and her mouth is open wide in laughter. That girl in that photo was, of course, me, and when the yearbook came out I could barely stand to look at that page because it was, I thought, not a pretty photo. But it sure was authentic. I'm a laugher from way back.

​Of course, it wasn't the first or the last image of me laughing in photos. When there's a photo taken, I'm frequently the one with my eyes squeezed shut and my mouth wide open or my teeth bared because I laugh a lot. And over the years I've come to think differently about my image in photos where I'm laughing. Is it a prettily posed selfie showing all of my best angles? Nope not even a little. But it is a true representation of who I am. I love to laugh; I believe it is the joy of my soul bubbling up and overflowing. So if you see photos of me or spend time with me, be prepared to see my eyelids and my uvula (that thing that hangs down from the roof of your mouth) a lot.

One of the first things that attracted me to my husband Jim was the fact he made me laugh. He made me laugh so much, I married him. One of the things I find the most delightful about my son Tanner is his sense of humor. He's funny and we laugh a lot together. I see the same thing with his girlfriend - the two of them make each other laugh, and I totally get why they've chosen each other. My family laughs a lot together, too. We've laughed through joy, embarrassment, sickness, fun, pain, poignancy, and tragedy because even in sadness there is something to laugh about. My father, who died in February, was one of the funniest people I knew (often in a corny dad humor kind of way). He had a tremendous sense of humor, and my favorite photos of my parents are when they were laughing together.
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Eyes closed? Don't care - I was laughing. It's what I do.
PictureMy parents - they made each other laugh for 55 years.
There are reports of people healing illnesses with laughter and medical professionals tout various health benefits, including stress release, boosting the immune system, relieving pain, and improving mood.

But I love laughter more than anything because it makes me feel good. Laughing brings me into the moment. Regardless of my mental state before I started to laugh, as soon as I start i feel fantastic. It brings me joy, and it connects me to others.

Most of my closest friends over the years are people I can laugh with. On a recent road trip to Northern California with my friends Kristen and Kasci, we spent a lot of the hours we logged in the car laughing. My family is getting together this weekend to remember my dad (and scatter his ashes), and much of our time will be marked with laughter. 

In the practice of Nia, one of the things they teach white belts involves somatic training that includes spending 60 seconds lying on the floor laughing and 60 seconds sitting and laughing. At first, it feels forced but after a few seconds, the fake laughter becomes genuine, and I am sitting among a group of souls laughing at absolutely nothing other than laughter. ​

Laughter is beautiful. It is the voice of your soul. Laughter brings joy. It connects you to others. Laughter allows you to be present-time focused. It calms, de-stresses, and reminds you of lightness even in the midst of darkness. Laughter is, I believe, a spiritual practice because when you laugh, you connect for that moment with the joy that is who you truly are in your soul and when you laugh with others, it connects your soul to theirs. Laughter is beautiful and if that's how I'm going to appear in a lot of photos, I'm okay with that.
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I don't know what else my friend Michelle and I were doing in this photo - but we were laughing.
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Choose Joy

12/26/2017

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Create from Joy

11/20/2017

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Gratitude

11/15/2017

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One of the keys to creating what you desire in your life is to combine intention and attention with positive emotion. I understand that sometimes, it's difficult to get into a positive space when things seem to be going poorly; however, when your focus is on negativity, you draw more negativity into your life.

So what is the path to being positive, even when times seem dark? Finding something that makes you happy. You can snuggle with a pet. You can think of people you love. You can find something that makes you laugh. Or you can consider the things you have for which you are grateful.

Expressing gratitude increases positive emotion. Start small if you have to; the couch you are sitting on supports you comfortably, you ate tasty meal last night, you have a roof over your head at the moment. Then, work your way up. You can do this in all circumstances. If you can find things to be grateful for when you're feeling down, you can start to shift your emotions in a positive direction.
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Wonder

11/14/2017

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If you can step into your child's mind and remember how you once saw and experienced things, you can return to seeing all of the wonder that is in the world, which can help you rediscover joy.
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Joy Is a Choice

11/12/2017

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Are You Ready to Fly?

11/6/2017

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Finding Joy Through Playfulness

11/5/2017

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Remember when you were a kid, and you'd get totally lost in play? It didn't matter what else was going on in your life; while you were playing you were lost in your own joyful world of fun. In early childhood, it was probably pretty easy to get totally absorbed in that state of playful joy, but as you headed into your 'tweens, teens, and beyond, the worries of real life intruded, and you were less able to escape into play. 

What happened? Why did it go away? "I grew up," you say. "Life got in the way. I have responsibilities." I get it. Unfortunately, we often condition our children away from play as we direct them towards greater responsibility because we want them to be successful adults. However, I'd argue this is misguided because in my opinion, being joyful is being successful.

When our boys were 9 and 11, we took them to Disneyland over spring break. We rode every big fun ride, and I spent the four days we were there laughing. I was playing, and it filled me with joy. It was during this trip I was reminded of the power of playfulness and how much even small amounts of play can have a big impact on how happy you feel. Since that trip, I've made a point to find ways to bring playfulness into my life every day. Doing so allows me to slip into that space of joy, and when I find it I can carry it with me and bring it to mind whenever life seems to get too serious.

Somewhere along the path to adulthood, many of us let go of our playfulness. We traded fun for things we perceived as being more grown up and in doing so, we lost one of our major sources of joy. And so I encourage you to find ways to play. Dance, sing,, spin in circles, and lay on the grass and look for four-leaf clovers. Sing at the top of your lungs to music on your car stereo. Roll down a hill. Tell a silly joke or make a bad dad pun. Crunch your feet through the autumn leaves. Lay on your back and look at the sky. Daydream. Hula hoop. Play a rousing game of Hungry Hippos. Build something with Legos. Pretend. Laugh so hard you snort. There are hundreds of ways to bring playfulness back into your life. Do it every day and remember the joy you once felt as a child. If you make a point to bring play back into your experience in big and small ways every day, your life can't help but be more joyful.

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Joy

11/2/2017

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