Forgiveness sets you free. It's something I work on every day - choosing to let go of anger, hurt, pain I feel others have caused me. Intellectually, I realize nobody has caused the pain - I'm choosing it. Sometimes it takes a bit longer for the heart and emotions to respond but with work, I always get there eventually.
I can't remember who I heard say it, but this has always stuck with me. It was spoken to an adult survivor of child abuse, and I'll paraphrase here - "Your abuser stopped beating you years ago, but every day you're choosing to pick up the stick and continuing to beat yourself."
Are you continuing to beat yourself with a stick that someone else put down long ago? I'll say it again. Forgiveness sets you free.
Forgiveness doesn't mean you have to allow a destructive person back in your life, but it does mean you release them from the destructive ties that are binding you. You can step away with love. Here are some tools to help in the process: