I was surprised this wonderful and accomplished soul who had been doing this work extremely competently for years had only just had such a realization. Yet, I completely understood exactly what she was saying.
It took me years to admit, even to myself, I have abilities. I've worked with them openly for probably six or seven years now after spending most of my adult and late teen life in denial because somewhere along the way I absorbed societal conditioning and messages that said, "Psychics aren't real." However, even as I work with my abilities and can retrieve extremely accurate information, I doubt myself. I notice the words coming out of my mouth, I see the looks of recognition on people's faces and hear their words of acknowledgement what I am saying is true, I can frequently verify the information I receive and share by checking historical records, and I still have trouble believing I am psychic, yet it is something that flows out of me readily. My husband Jim often tells people for whom I am about to do some aspect of reading, "Prepare to be amazed." (Way to oversell me!) He is far less skeptical of my abilities than I am.
We live in a society that says psychics aren't real; they are either complete shams or completely deluded. Although I am open about my abilities and my work as an intuitive energy healer, among many people I know, it is something not acknowledged openly and certainly never shared. There are people in my life, some I am quite close to, with whom my psychic abilities lie unspoken between us. Whether it is friends, loved ones, or strangers, I frequently encounter attitudes of deep skepticism, outright disbelief, discomfort, or the idea I'm deluded or lying. Others take more of an approach of saying, "Oh that's just Karen," with a wave of their hand and a roll of their eyes as if to indicate I've always been just a little off.
I understand the deep skepticism because in spite of my own gifts, I live with my own skepticism. And it's not because I haven't proven my ability to dive deeply and obtain pertinent information that clearly comes from another source. Instead, it's because regardless of the power of my own personal experiences, we live in a society that suggests instead of being a natural gift everyone has, psychic ability is not only not natural, it's not real.
It's difficult enough to struggle with these attitudes in myself. In some of my relationships, it's even harder because I feel I am unable to be 100 percent authentic if I wish to maintain them. And if I am 100 percent authentic, the people who don't believe it are forced to choose to view me as either deluded or lying. Neither is conducive to a close, loving, and authentic relationship. And so, because I am who and what I am and as I am unwilling to deny this aspect of myself, which is, indeed, very real, some of my relationships suffer.
My wish for the people I love is they can be 100 percent themselves and present in the world as exactly who they are without feeling the need to filter or mask any part of self. And since I am one of the people I love, this is my wish for myself, as well. I cannot stop having these gifts, nor is it authentic for me to deny them. At the same time, I understand how difficult it is for many people to accept I have them given where we are as a society about things such as psychic abilities, energy healing, etc. All I can do is share my experience and say this: It is my choice to walk through this life with integrity, compassion, and unconditional love. It is also my choice to use the gifts and abilities I have received from the Divine in ways that raise the vibration of the planet and bring Light to people with whom I interact. Regardless of anyone else's beliefs in or thoughts about my abilities, I won't change who I am because to do so would be denying an important part of myself and a crucial aspect of my life's path.
I am not deluded. I am not lying. I love you and wish to be my authentic self in your presence. However, I will use my gifts regardless of anyone else's belief or lack thereof in them because being psychic is my experience, it is a part of who I am, and I don't believe the universe would've provided me with these gifts if I wasn't meant to use them to try and make our world a better place.