Your Most Meaningful Relationship

In my work, people often seem most interested in improving certain facets of their lives, and relationships (romantic and otherwise) are usually a biggie. I often hear questions like the following:

-How can I find a romantic partner?
-How can I have more friends or more meaningful friendships?
-How can I heal my relationships?
-How can I get people to treat me better?
-How can I forgive?

These are all offshoots of the same issue, which is how you relate to others, and the answer always starts in the same place. It begins with your relationship to self. 

Every person with whom you interact is, for you, some reflection of yourself. Other people are giant mirrors for us. We are drawn to people who have character and personality traits we admire, we wish to have, or that mirror aspects of ourselves we like. Likewise, when we don't like something in another, it is because we see something in them we also recognize in ourselves, but we hide it in the shadows and hope nobody ever notices. 

The answers to the questions above (in order asked), then are:
-First, love yourself.
-First, love yourself and develop a meaningful relationship with self.
-First, heal yourself.
-First, treat yourself better.
-First, forgive yourself. 

Your issues in relationships are always about you, the beliefs you have, the choices you make, your desires, and the thoughts you think. What you believe and think about yourself and others fuels your interactions. So to attract love from others, first love yourself. 

Chakra Work

Self love and self-worth begins in your third chakra, which is your solar plexus. It is here where you develop and maintain feelings of self-esteem. Focusing here and truly learning to love yourself is a necessary step before you can bring that energy up into your heart chakra, the center of unconditional love, where you can share the love you have for yourself with others and the world. 

Image by Ben Kerckx from Pixabay ​

Concentrating on your third chakra as you meditate and using crystals like citrine, yellow tigers eye, and amber can help strengthen this key area to build self love.  Using mantras during meditation for self love can also help. Consider mantras such as:

• I am enough.
• I love myself unconditionally.
• I am perfect as I am.
• I am perfect in the eyes of the Divine.
• I have a spark of Divinity in me.
• I choose to be my highest vision of my best self.

Vajrapradrama or Thunderbolt Mudra

Mudras offer another way of focusing and setting attention during meditation, visualization, and affirmation. These hand positions can help improve focus and stimulate energy flow. 

For self-confidence and building self love, try vajrapradama mudra, which is also known as thunderbolt mudra. Interlace your fingers as shown on the right and rest your hands over your heart and solar plexus chakras as you affirm self-confidence and self-love. The mudra represents and strengthens unshakeable self-confidence, which is key in building self-love.

The Secret to Self-Love: Remember Who You Are
We spend all day in contemplation of our selves: what we want, how others relate to us, how we are doing at our jobs, what we feel like eating, what we want to wear, how to care for ourselves...the list goes on and on. It's surprising, then, that with so much self-contemplation, we often arrive at conclusions about self that are less than loving. And when we reach these conclusions, we drive ourselves more deeply into forgetting who we are. We believe such terrible things about ourselves we forget our very essence is love. We come from love, we bring that love with us when we arrive in these bodies, and then we spend the next several decades forgetting that about ourselves. 

So here I am to remind you of who you are. I see you, I know you, and I know who you truly are. You are love. You come from the love and the light, and someday you will return to it. And while it may seem your light or love is hidden right now, it's just covered with a little dust. But even with that light, dusty coating, the essence of you shines brightly. You are love, and you deserve to remember that. So until you remember, I will remember for you. You are love, and nothing can do will make me believe anything different.

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